My first book came easily, no distractions, no hesitation, when I look back now it feels like it almost wrote itself (not true, I spent many hours sat with no company except the characters in my head arguing over what they should do next).
I have detailed in previous blogs how my author journey moved from writer to marketer and all the experience I gained. I have finally admitted to myself that I am an author, as well as a teacher, husband and father. But am I a finisher?
I hope so. What I am learning however, is that this writing journey is the hardest challenge I have ever undertaken.
I spoke in my last blog about the problems having two stories rattling around in your head and how difficult it was to finish them. Just to mix things up a little I am currently working on three projects. More on those in a moment.
When I look back at the last year, I think to myself how? How did I ever manage to finish those books.
But I am happy with the achievement.
I managed to write and release the second book in my planned epic fantasy trilogy!
It was hard but I made it. The story had been a struggle until I put it on hold and wrote ‘Tales from The Slaughtered Lamb’. Once I had that out of my imagination it was easy to get ‘The Messenger’ written. Editing did turn into an immense slog and took the better part of six months. My work/life/writing balance has been way off the mark. Now I look back at the experience I think it may have been a bit ambitious of me to expect to get married, release a book, write and edit a book and release another one as well as finish my first year in a new teaching job. Now I am nearing the end of my second year in that job and loving teaching more than ever but the author career is still the hardest piece of my life, yet the one I find most rewarding.
Here is a glimpse at a conversation I had with my wife shortly before I released “The Messenger”.
“I am not sure I can afford to pay to have a cover made for the book.” I said.
My wife looked at me, obviously not wanting to have another conversation about my writing, “You spend money on your other hobbies. How is this any different?”
It felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. Writing was not a hobby. It was a new career, something that might help support us in retirement one day. I was passionate about it, I wanted to write all the time.
A voice in my head whispered, “She’s right. Be realistic.”
The truth is that income from book sales is not even enough to have a decent night out once a month and if I am honest, not even once a year. But I love writing. I don’t have time to market like a pro. I don’t have enough time to write the stories in my head. Did that mean I had to accept that it is all just a hobby.
The dream died a little that day. I even talk about my writing as though it is a hobby, often avoiding conversations about my books with my friends, I can’t even remember the last time I talked about writing with my family.
I sneak away to my computer less often now, but as you can see from this, I still write. I finally released ‘The Messenger’. I smile every time I get a new review.
Actually, I am happier now. Writing is only done for pleasure, the pressure of trying to make sales has gone. I didn’t even push hard for ARC readers and the only reviews I get are from people who have bought and enjoyed my books.
That is why I write, to share my stories with other people. I love reading and escaping into other worlds. Now other people enjoy escaping into my worlds. That brings me joy. That is why I write. Is it a hobby to me?
No.
It’s a calling and just like you, now these stories have started, I need to know how they finish.
Steven M Phillips Author 