Nearly two years on from releasing my first novel ‘The Beast’ and I am still questioning myself. Am I a writer? When I meet new people at parties, am I allowed to talk to them about my books? Can I say “I’m a writer” or do I still hide under the umbrella of my day job?
Many hours have been spent sitting in a dark room typing at a computer, drawing from the well of imagination. It still surprises me that this source of inspiration never seems to run dry. Admittedly, now and again it helps to chat with people and find out where they think my stories should go, but mostly I spend time wandering the dark hallways of my mind, wandering the fanciful fields of memory and sitting, slowly watching the images of my life pass by in the river of daydreams. There always seems to be something that floats up, bubbling to the surface and springing forth to grab the moment.
From this well I have somehow managed to create a couple more little stories, soon to be released.
You may have noticed my attempts at serialising a novel on Patreon. One kind person signed up and they seemed to enjoy the story. That was nice. But it did not sustain me. So the serialisation has become a novel. Tales from the Slaughtered Lamb was a very different thing to write. It began as weekly write-ups of a role-playing game that my son was running for me and a group of my University friends – if you dig around my website you will find some of my first attempts at writing were of a D&D campaign. Sadly, I was finding that trying to write up the campaign at the same time as trying to write my second novel was not working. So I began videoing our role-playing sessions. Which basically meant that I stopped doing the write-ups and got on with writing the novel. My brain was not happy with this and began to drive me insane as my well of imagination was itching to tell the story that was building up in video files, and I found it harder and harder to tap into the correct fantasy world.
Eventually, I put The Beast part 2 on hold.
Then I watched all the hundreds of hours of video, and I wrote. When I had finished I thought to myself that I could edit as I went and release it as a serialisation. Only I did not find an audience, probably because I jumped straight back into writing and did not spend any time marketing.
Every time I sat down to get another chapter of The Beast book 2 down, the voice in my head began to chatter about what it obviously felt was unfinished business. Tales from the Slaughtered Lamb just would not be quiet. I dropped all other writing and went through the videos again. Then I wrote. Then I re-read the entire thing and decided it was very rough. So I spent time in that world, I went for walks in the hills. I looked at photos from a few years ago when I last went to Grasmere and the Lake District. I began to bend the story to my will. Two edits later and I sent the manuscript to a couple of trusted friends. They gave me some honest feedback and I edited again.
By now, I had put The Beast book 2 away, all tucked up nicely in its bed, closed the door and forgotten about it. For a while, I could not hear its screams for attention.
I finished Tales from the Slaughtered Lamb. It will be available soon for the world to read. When it was at the editor’s and I was working on a cover the door that I thought I had left locked burst open and the monster I had put to sleep roared into my mind.
The Messenger: Book 2 of The Beast, The Messenger and The King, finished writing itself in a flurry of activity, all whilst I was getting married, honeymooning and still trying to hold down a full-time job as a teacher in Primary school. It has made its way to the editor and back.
Now I am sitting here writing this with two books staring me down from their respective folders on my computer. Each one is asking for a final edit before release. I have been ignoring both.
They sit anxiously waiting because the original story called to me once again, it whispered in my ear as I slept, it let itself back into the well of my imagination and swam around muddying the waters. It wanted to be better.
The Beast has just been spruced up and re-released with a new cover (see cover stories 1, 2 and 3 to understand why) and some small edits, as well as a new glossary section at the back. The map has been updated, as a good friend of mine has drawn one for me, which now hangs on the wall next to my writing desk.
Soon I will be putting ‘Tales’ and ‘Messenger’ out there to roam free in fields of readers.
Next time I’m at a party and I am introduced to someone, they are most likely to say the dreaded words… “Hi Steve, great to meet you. What do you do?”
“Thanks for asking, I’m a…”
Steven M Phillips Author 